(Disclaimer: Everything belongs to seaQuest DSV and Amblin Entertainment, Sci-fi Channel, etc. Except the original character of Ensign Elise Morgan who belongs to me.)
Lucas hung from the back wall of the cell. Shackles held his hands above his head. A bright light was focused on him. He glowed with an unearthly pale radiance that would have seemed beautiful, if not for the bruises.
Like a trail of tears, they flowed down his body, marking each touch of violence. At the door, I held my breath as I took this all in. Taking a step into the room and closing the door behind me, his whole body cringed and a weak whimper escaped him.
"Lucas," I whispered, "what have they done to you?"
"To us?" I said as my voice broke.
I reached out to brush his blonde hair out of his eyes and then gently caressed his cheek, wishing I could help him. He raised his eyes to mine and cuddled his face into my hand. I could see the plea in them to end this; but I was just as trapped as he was. I lowered my hand and defeat slumped my shoulders. A moment later they straightened with resolve. If he could go through with this, so could I.
His head snapped to the left as the backhanded slap caught him totally off guard.
"Just tell them what they want to know," I begged. "It will all stop then and you can rest."
A shudder rippled through him as the pain flared, but he would not scream. He had promised never to scream, no matter what.
Forgiveness shone from his eyes and my soul shattered. Even if he forgave me, I knew I would never forgive myself for getting us into this mess.
We both knew that if he didn't tell them what they wanted to know, and soon, I would be right beside him. And then the bruises would seem like a picnic compared to the broken bones they would inflict - or worse.
It had seemed like a good delaying tactic when we had planned it three days ago. Our captors saw how much it tore me up to have Lucas hurt. Anything was now acceptable so long as Lucas didn't die. I was doing my best to keep him from getting a bullet in the brain. I would gladly descend to the lowest levels of hell to keep him alive one more day - one more minute, until help arrived.
We both knew that Bridger would search to the ends of the earth (and throughout time itself if necessary) to find the one person that he considered a son. If not of his body, then of his soul.
After what I have done, though, I will never be able to live with the guilt. But, I had done it all to keep the boy alive.
Yet, the crew would be right behind Bridger demanding my head when they find out. Even if they somehow, God knows how, forgave me as Lucas had, I would have no other choice but to get out of his life before I caused him any more pain.
It had crossed my mind when they had taken us. I'm not brave and once before I had almost completely escaped the mess I had caused. Thankfully, none of that incident was in my file. Sometimes, Lucas amazed me at how well he could make problems disappear if he had a computer in his hands. The posting to the seaQuest had seemed like a new life, a second chance.
One night when everyone was asleep except the skeleton crew, I wandered down to the moon pool to be with Darwin. Lucas had wondered for a long time why I never liked to be left alone, and he had overheard me baring my soul to the dolphin. He had sat down next to me. "You never told me about that, and I thought we weren't going to keep secrets form each other," he said as he held me through the night. I knew he had been abused as a child by his father, and the only reprieve had come with his posting to seaQuest.
Looking at him now, I found myself thinking that even at the darkest of times, I would never hit a child. I had seen just how much damage was done after the fists flew.
When they had started to beat us the first day, I had offered myself totally to them, if they would take me in Lucas's place. When the guards passed this on to their superiors, we had been given a choice - I had to be the interrogator. I had to be the one to ask him to betray seaQuest and Bridger. Lucas and I agreed that between us we could play a game within a game to buy some time for Bridger to come to our rescue.
[3 days ago. . . .]
"Lucas, this might get really bad before Bridger can get here. What if they up the ante and come up with something even more sick to get you to answer their questions?" I asked.
"You just go along with it. There's nothing you could ever do to me that I couldn't forgive," he said, squeezing my hand.
[present . . .]
Oh, how naive we had been three days ago.
The game of Russian Roulette they had us play had thrown me back to the bad times before I met Lucas for the first time.
Coming back to the present, I steeled myself and put the part of me that was breaking down behind the locked door in my head. Lucas still looked at me, but I couldn't meet his eyes now. The decision came easily in a twisted sort of way - me for him. I would get him out of this, no matter what the cost to me and surrender to Bridger. He would make sure I got what was coming to me, and if he didn't, I would arrange it.
The decision made, I hit Lucas again.
The blood dripped from his broken lip as a tear spilled down my cheek.
I had become the monster.
The blood was a bridge to hell, and I had never wanted to cross it again. I thought I had paid my toll to get out of hell years ago.
A knock at the door drew my attention. With a warning glance at Lucas, I turned to see the door open. The guards motioned me to come out and proceed them down the hall. Escape wasn't an option- they were built like the linebackers I had once seen on a documentary of violent sports from the 20th century. Even with all the training I had taken in basic training and from Crocker, I couldn't escape them. We entered a white room with a single chair. The guards took up position on either side of the door.
"Ensign Morgan, please sit down," came a voice from behind the light that shone in my eyes.
*Oh, damn,* I thought, *what now?* as I sat. I had learned the hard way not to challenge anything here.
"You don't seem to be successful in getting the answers we're looking for. Perhaps the guards need to help encourage Mr. Wolenczak to talk?"
"NO!" I cried out. "I'll get the information you want, but he's not responding to force. Could I try a different method? Or is there anything other than the security codes that you want?" I asked, desperation apparent in my voice.
*Please let him say yes,* I prayed.
This had been the second option, Lucas and I had talked about after that first 'session'. If he could somehow get access to a computer, he could alert seaQuest to our location. Not understanding, I had argued that any transmissions would be monitored and blocked.
(Three days ago)
"That's the beauty of it, Morgan," Lucas said, glee in his eyes. "All I have to do is try to hack the security codes and a program I wrote will trace the attempt."
"But, Lucas, those are just the codes they want. If it's that easy to do, why don't you just let them blunder into it and get themselves caught?"
I knew Lucas could get them angry enough to do it, too. He enjoyed it, using someone's anger against them, just the way he had against his father. How else would he have been assigned to seaQuest unless 'Daddy' thought it was the last place on earth Lucas wanted to be?
"Morgan, it's like the firing codes I hacked out of Bridger's personal computer. I have them but unless I try them I would never know that they worked."
A weak smiled came to me, as I remembered him telling me about it one day in the mess hall. Everyone had stared, wondering how he had done it, as I fell off my seat rolling with laughter- I was usually so quiet. Lucas had said, "...Bridger's gonna go 'ballistic' if he ever finds out," with a quirky little grin on his face. I couldn't help myself. Only my Lucas would make such an awful pun about a court marshal offense- a rebel through and through.
(Present)
"What are you suggesting?" came the reply that jerked my attention back. I could hear the interest that had crept into his voice. Crossing my mental fingers, I began, "If I could somehow convince Lucas you had arranged an accident in the engine room that would overload the engines and destroy seaQuest, he would do everything in his power to save them. If that means hacking into the system, he would do it without a second thought."
The line was set, let him take the bait.
"My dear Ensign, do you take me for a fool?"
I felt like a mouse pinned by a cat- crazy enough to try to fight back but knowing that would only delay the inevitable.
"The minute- no second; I let Wolenczak near my computer, that precious UEO of yours would be alerted to come pick him up. I can't have that. This party is just getting interesting," he said, as if he was a disgruntled host who wouldn't stand for his guests leaving early.
"I won't stand for it. You are performing so well now. You're very trainable it just takes a little coaxing. Isn't that right?"
A pause and then he continued, "I've made sure they will never take you back." He must have seen the confusion on my face because he added, "I have an extensive video library of all my guests. Just as magnificent as my antique gun collection"
With that said, I almost fell apart as my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I knew he had taped my traitorous actions. I shied away from remembering the guns.
"You can track every keystroke and pull the plug if he tries anything," I tried desperately to bargain.
"Unacceptable, I'm afraid," came his cold response. "Guards- escort Ensign Morgan back to Wolenczak's cell, restrain our little Judas and them teach them the price for denying me what I want in anything." As they began to lead me away, he added, "Anything short of death is sanctioned, but with Wolenczak being so 'fragile'; accidents do happen now don't they?" he purred.
*NO!* was my mental wail. This couldn't be happening. He needed Lucas for the computer codes he could provide. Didn't he?
As they walked me back to the cell, I tried to think of a way to get Lucas and I both out of here. I could not leave Lucas behind. I had done that once before and regretted it every day since. Not since the 'Incident' had I felt so lost and out of control.
Dully, I watched as the guards took Lucas down and then put me in the shackles. It had all become so surreal. I really wanted to wake up from this nightmare soon.
With a glance at me from under his bangs, I shook my head slightly. He knew then that I had no luck in getting him access.
I watched him brace for whatever was going to happen next.
*If this ever ends, he'll grow up to be one hell of a man. Who am I kidding; he already is.* I felt all hope slowly die in me. Bridger wouldn't be in time.
The guards placed themselves on either side of him. He looked so small between these two Neanderthals. The one on the left lashed out with a kick to Lucas's knee and I heard a wet sickening pop as it went out. Lucas muffled a scream and tried to breath through the pain.
*Oh Lucas, scream, please; don't keep it bottled up on my account, or because of some stupid pride about measuring up to Bridger's expectations.* I bit the inside of my lip to keep quiet. If he wouldn't, I couldn't.
The guards took hold of his arms as he started to crumple to the floor.
The guard on his right, not content to be left out, let fly with another kick and Lucas's other knee made that same gut wrenching noise. Blood flooded my mouth. The metallic taste was so familiar. It teased at the edges of my control.
*Stop it! Stop it! Make it stop!* I whimpered to myself. At that point, I wanted to do anything that would free Lucas from the pain they were inflicting.
Something came over me then distancing me from this horror. This less emotional part observed their continued abuse, because I couldn't. Dislocated shoulder, bruised kidneys and probably other internal injuries.
Finally, the guards let him fall to the floor, unconscious.
With a halfhearted kick to his ribs, I heard a snapping sound- like toothpicks. The first guard said, "All this is making me hungry and it's no fun when they're not awake."
"I'll meet you in the cafeteria," the second one said. "Don't be too long. It's BBQ ribs today," the first responded, and then chuckled as if he had made a great joke.
The other came up to me. I could make out no expression on his face. "Your friend is going to die. Say good-bye now, before it's too late." We both saw the truth in his statement. "Please, let me down," I pleaded, almost as a last request. He reached up to the shackles and undid them, seeing blood on my wrists where I had pulled in desperation, he met my eyes again. "Go." I said. "Give me some time alone with him." I paused, swallowed and went on,"Please." my throat closed, I couldn't go on. He turned and left closing the door behind him.
Feeling something hit my hand I looked down. Shaking myself out of the cold lethargy that had cocooned me earlier, I put a hand up to me face and brushed away the tears that had fallen while I was unaware.
Crossing over to where he lay and kneeling beside him, I gently gathered his broken body into my arms. We must have looked like some obscene Pieta.
*Yes* whispered a voice, . . a voice I had once known so well.
*Let the boy sleep. We will watch over him and make sure nothing else can harm him.*
*Peace, no pain, no worries* it promised. It was a voice I could trust. It had promised the same things to me after the `incident'.
It's promises were so seductive. Bridger would never have to know of my failure. Lucas wouldn't be in any more pain, by my hand or theirs. Most compelling of all- once he was 'safe', I would be released from my promises to him and be able to rest too.
With a weak smile, my decision made, a wonderful calm fell over me. I had only felt like this once before. The return of its embrace was soothing. I had worked so hard after the last time; rebuilding myself and rising like a phoenix from the wreckage that my life had become. Now it was time to rest.
Softly, I brushed at the tears that had continued to fall down my cheeks and used them to clean his face of the blood. He looked like an innocent lamb. He should never have been exposed to these horrors or had such a monster for a father. I was glad that he hadn't woken up. It would be easier this way.
"I'm sorry I failed you, Lucas." the whisper gently fluttered through the hair above his ear. "Please, forgive me this as well."
I covered his mouth and nose with my hand and started humming. It was the lullaby I had once sung to Lucas when he had come to me after one of his nightmares. He'd asked where I had learned it and what the words were, but I couldn't tell him. The tune just was. It had always been there, older than my memories.
Knowing itself to be in danger, his body started to struggle, looking for the air it so desperately needed. Trying to gasp reflexively.
Slowly the struggles weakened. Lucas grew still, but not dead. Not yet.
*Just a little while longer. It's almost over* whispered the voice.
Suddenly the door flew open. I feared it would be the guards coming back for round two, but it was worse. Oh, so much worse.
Frozen in place, my eyes were telling me it was Commander Ford in the doorway.
*Why now and not an hour ago?* I howled in anguish down the corridors in my mind. Echoes but no answer there. I heard him yell, "Over here Captain!"
He had an assault gun in his hands and blood covered his uniform, but it was the fire in his eyes that held me transfixed. I couldn't move but hoped the earth would open and swallow me up.
Captain Bridger came rushing through the door and took it in with one look. Batting me to the side and away from Lucas's body, he ordered Ford to watch me.
"Get me Westphalen! Now, Dammit!" he shouted to the other member of the rescue team. "What have you done?!" he tossed the questioned at me. Rage seethed in him and if Lucas hadn't needed him more, I know he would have killed me right there.
He started to inventory Lucas's hurts with his eyes, found a faint heartbeat under his fingers, but Lucas wasn't breathing. Cutting off anymore questions, Nathan Bridger started mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Frozen, I watched Bridger put life back into Lucas one breath at a time. After minutes that seemed like hours, Westphalen came running in and knelt beside them
. "Nathan," she said as she put her hand on his shoulder, "Let me take over."
Lucas had started to breathe on his own, so we saw her start triage on his other wounds. This had been a systematic torture. The general bruising on his torso was days old, but very superficial. It looked horrid, but it didn't concern the doctor. I saw her focus on the injuries that were, at most, an hour old.
"Nathan, we need to get him back to the seaQuest as soon as possible. Unless they have an operating theatre here," she relayed in an urgent tone.
"We don't have control of the facility, we have to evacuate," said Ford.
"I'll carry Lucas." With that, Nathan carefully picked him up. "Come on people, it's time to go."
I was in a fog, but Commander Ford pushed me through the door. Before we could move out, Lt. O'Neill came running up out of breath and carrying two video cassettes. He threw me a disgusted look, and said in a low voice only Ford and I could hear, "Their equipment is out of date, but I found these. I scanned them and I can't believe what I saw."
"Later," a harried Ford directed at Tim. "We have to get Lucas to the launch A.S.A.P."
We took off quickly but had to hold the pace down because a misstep could drive one of Lucas's broken ribs into his lung. We rounded a corner and I saw why Lucas and I hadn't been interrupted earlier. On the floor our two guards were sprawled, obviously dead, and covered in even more blood than Ford.
As we hurried to the launch; video cameras were obvious in the hallway, not hidden as the one in the cell had been. They followed our progress dispassionately, as our ragtag group made our way out.
"Good," said a voice. Satisfaction dripped like honey from the statement into the silence of the control room. "Soon you'll come back to me. Everything can go back to the way it should be. Back before those meddlesome U.E.O. officials took you away from me all those years ago."
The owner of the voice inserted a tape into the archaic player and sat back as a children's party replaced the feed coming through the cameras. Young children were running around giggling and having fun. Innocent, so innocent. The maker of the tape slowly panned then tightened on the guest of honor. She looked like a cherub. Porcelain skin, brown eyes, brown hair. She could not be any older then five. As if sensing the camera focused on her, she looked up and smiled a shy little smile.
"Thank you for my party, Doctor."
"Happy Birthday, Elise," echoed from the monitor and the man at the console.
Bridger was extremely careful not to jar Lucas as they made their way to Med. Bay. The trip back on the launch had been tense and silent. Everyone was lost to their own thoughts.
*Lord help him.* Nathan prayed silently. *You've taken Robert and Carol, don't take Lucas too.* He lay the boy gently down on the gurney in Med. Bay. *I need him, and I swear I'll make everyone who hurt him pay.* He turned to Dr. Westphalen, "Save him, Doctor. We need him," a pause, "I need him."
Dr. Westphalen knew how much it had cost Bridger to say these words, but she was already as tightly focused as she could be and still work. If they had another surgical doctor other than Dr. Nguyen on board, she would have turned Lucas over to them. But there was to much damage to repair for just one doctor. She could fully understand why doctors shouldn't operate on their own families. She had taken Lucas into her heart and thought of him as her son. A niggling feeling that she had in fact overlooked something bothered her but it could wait. Lucas must come first. She turned to the people standing helplessly in her Med. Bay.
"It's going to be touch and go. There is a high chance that we are going to lose him if the internal injuries are as bad as I think," she confided to the group.
As she and Dr. Nguyen left to scrub in for surgery, a nurse took Lucas to be prepped and another cleared us out of Med. Bay so they could get to work. Firmly, the door closed on our broken group.
Refocusing his attention now that he had relinquished Lucas to Doctor Westphalen's care, Captain Bridger looked at me and bit out, "The ward room. One hour," and stalked off..
O'Neill nudged Ford, "Now will you look at these tapes?"
"Yes," Ford replied. "Murphy escort Ensign Morgan to the ward room and wait for us there."
O'Neill and Ford left me alone with Murphy. As we set off for the ward room, I heard the voice again.
*You just need some time alone.*
It was right. If Lucas died - I couldn't live. If Lucas lived, I could never live with the guilt. Either way I had lost Lucas. He had been the only reason I had tried after the 'incident' to rebuild and go on. I'd arrange to get the time I needed.
"Murphy, how about I get cleaned up. I could drop by my quarters and meet you there. It will only take me a minute and then I can be debriefed by the 'Old Man'." I knew I could get him to agree. He hadn't seen what Bridger and Ford had.
A part of me was amazed at how I could sound so calm and rational. Especially when the other part that I had locked away in my mind was curled into a ball, and rocking back and forth whimpering over and over, "I killed Lucas."
Commander Ford hadn't told Murphy I was under arrest. So my request seemed reasonable enough, I guess, because he looked at me not really suspicious, and said, "Uh - sure. I don't see why not."
"Don't worry. Everything will be cleared up in about an hour, Murphy." With that, I turned to go to my quarters.
*That will be the first place they look,* the voice protested in my mind.
*Don't worry,* I answered, *I have a good-bye to say first.*
Knowing my time was short, I quickly made my way to the moon pool. My quarters would be the first place they would check.
After Lucas, the 'person' I was closest to on board seaQuest was Darwin. They would never let me say good-bye to Lucas, but I could see Darwin one last time. Going through the doors, I could see Darwin waiting for me. I activated the vocorder to translate Darwin's worried clicks.
"Morgan sad. Morgan in dark place. Where is Lucas?"
"Lucas has been hurt," was all I could get out. Swallowing against the pain I continued, "Darwin why don't you use the tubes to go check on him in Med. Bay. With that, he was off like a shot. "Good-bye," I whispered to the ripples that he had left in his wake.
I knew the clock was ticking so I forced myself to move. Going over to one of the dive lockers, I pulled out one of the shark knives. It seemed to beckon me to use it immediately, but I knew that I had to go someplace they would never think to look until it was too late. I calculated I had another thirty minutes so I tucked the knife away and made my way to Lucas's quarters.
Please, *Don't let there be anyone in the halls,* I thought. I knew with the way things had been going for the last three days it was a vain wish. I turned the corner and almost collided with Ortiz.
"I was just on my way to the bridge," Miguel said. "How's Lucas?"
"Not good," I replied. What an understatement.
My reply made an expression of worry cross Miguel's face. I desperately hoped he wouldn't ask me any more questions. I think he could see that in my eyes.
"Well," he said reluctantly, "I gotta go. I'm already late for my shift on the bridge," as he continued on.
*Soon* urged the voice, as I hurried off.
*Yes, soon* I promised.
I opened the door and stopped cold in my tracks. The sight of his room almost made me cry. It had been picked up. His computer station had everything tidied and put away. In the middle of a project Lucas tended to lose track and put things down where ever he was. The soda cans and snack wrappers were gone also.
I had jokingly told him all I wanted for my birthday was for him to pick up his room. That had gotten a bag of chips tossed at me. He must have done it as a surprise right before we left on the launch to go upworld for my birthday dinner. A dinner we never made it to.
I sat down on the neatly made bed and picked up Einstein. I had given Lucas the stuffed bear when I had first met him so many years ago. I had thought that he had grown out of having a bear. He must have keep it hidden. The crew would have teased him about it, and I hadn't seen Einstein since boarding seaQuest. I hugged the bear and kissed its head. "Watch over Lucas," I said as I set him by the computer.
Returning to sit on the bed, I pulled out the blade and laid it beside me. I rolled up my sleeves and looked at my forearms. Faint white lines snaked their way up from my wrists to the inside of my elbows. I picked up the knife and traced it along one scar.
*We'll succeed this time* promised the voice.
Standing outside myself, I watched my hand swiftly and deeply used the knife to make a parallel cut beside the first scar. Without a moments hesitation, I changed hands and pulled the knife along my other arm.
Dropping the knife, I watched as blood flowed down my arms and dripped off my fingers. Droplets fell to the floor and made macabre patterns. Overcome with dizziness, I slumped back on the bed.
*Rest* urged the voice.
My eyes closed with that thought. It was all over now.
[Ward room at about the same time]
Murphy looked up and saw Commander Ford coming. He looked like he was ready to kill someone.
"Where's Ensign Morgan?" Ford asked, not seeing Morgan present.
The rage in his voice startled Murphy. The commander was known to be so professional and he usually came across as cool.
"Sir," answered Murphy, "she said she wanted to get changed before the captain debriefed her."
"Find her now," ordered Bridger as he came through the door and caught the end of the exchange between Ford and Murphy. "She's under arrest for the attempted murder of Lucas."
Murphy was shocked and confused. He hadn't seen inside the cell. The captain had ordered him to get the doctor before he had seen anything.
"Yes, sir," he snapped out as he turned to leave.
"Sir, that's not the worst thing that happened there," said Ford.
"What do you mean? What could be worse than seeing one of my people trying to kill Lucas?"
With that, Ford handed the tapes over. "O'Neill's bringing a machine that can play these antiques." Tim knocked on the door just then. He came in and hooked up the equipment. As he left he said to the captain, "Make her pay for what she's done, sir. A monster like her needs to be locked up." Knowing that he couldn't go on without losing control Tim left the ward room. He couldn't make himself watch it again.
He and Ford had watched in horror as the past three days unfolded on the screen. How had they taken such a Judas on board? Nathan had to stop the tapes several times. Checking in with Crocker on the search, they learned that she hadn't been found yet. Knowing he had to be by Lucas's side, Nathan started to leave. "Jonathan, let me know when they find her," he ordered the commander.
Nathan had a stop to make on the way to Med. Bay. Lucas might want his bear when he woke up. Nathan had learned about Einstein by accident. One day in Lucas's room, he had started to pick up some of the clutter to sit down to talk with the boy and came across it by accident. At Lucas's embarrassed reaction, Nathan had confessed he had a Pooh bear in his cabin. It had been Robert's before he had grown up and it was one of the few things that Nathan kept to remember him by. Lucas had said, "It's just a gift from a friend. It's nothing important." But Nathan had seen how carefully Lucas had tucked the bear into a corner by the computer. Nathan meant to pick it up on the way to Med. Bay.
Opening the door, Nathan was first of all shocked to see the room so neat. The bear was right beside the computer so he made his way over to pick him up. Before he picked it up, he looked around to make sure there wasn't anything else he could take to Lucas. That's when he saw Morgan. The sight almost paralyzed him. The bed was soaked through with blood and it had also dripped onto the floor.
Activating the intercom he paged Commander Ford and Crocker to come to Lucas's room. As he waited, he applied pressure to Morgan's arms to stop the bleeding. It wasn't enough. Stripping off the pillow case and ripping it in half he tied off both of her arms above the elbow. He then took two towels and wrapped her arms. The tourniquets couldn't stay on long but he only had to get her to Med. Bay. How could someone cold enough to torture Lucas be driven to suicide? Had he missed something?
Ford and Crocker came rushing through the door in answer to Bridger's page and stopped in disbelief.
"Help me get her to Med. Bay. She slit her wrists," the captain explained in answer.
Carefully, Crocker and Bridger picked her up. Ford went ahead and cleared the halls so they could get the Med. Bay as quickly as possible.
A nurse intercepted them at the door. Taking in the damage she called out, "Holly get me some O negative blood and the suture kits s.t.a.t.!" Nathan checked and was told Kristin and Dr. Nguyen were still working on Lucas. He went to wait in Kristin's office. Calling to security, Bridger canceled the search for Ensign Morgan.
Hours later, Kristin came out of surgery looking exhausted. "We repaired as much of the damage as we could here. He'll need to go upworld for further surgeries on his knees."
She couldn't tell Nathan yet that she had found evidence of old abuse. There had been telltale signs of multiple fractures of Lucas's ribs, and a broken femur that had required pins to be stabilized. It had been so severe that he would have had to have been in a hospital for several months.
Yet, none of these were in his official medical report and Lucas had not let her perform a checkup on him when he boarded. He had said as a minor only his parents could order a doctor to perform a checkup against his will. He was right so Kristin had let it go until she could get him to agree to it willingly.
"Tell me what you've found out," she asked.
"Kristin, sit down," Nathan urged. He relayed as much as could and showed her the tapes.
After she had seen it all, she turned to him and said, "All of the damage we repaired today was new. None of what we see on the tapes needed my skills. It's superficial bruising only and will go away in a week or so."
Nathan was shocked. How could she say this after what she had just seen?
"The bruising is just superficial. In my medical opinion, Ensign Morgan didn't inflict any of the serious damage that we found. Where are you holding her?"
"Kristin," Nathan started to tell her but couldn't really finish, so he crossed over to the isolation window and beckoned her to joined him.
She saw the young ensign lying on a gurney with wrist restraints. She hurried in and brushed past the security guard to check Morgan's chart.
"Why wasn't I informed of this?"
"You were busy with Lucas."
Seeing that the nurse who had attended Morgan had done everything she would have, Kristin closed the chart. Double checking the sutures, she saw the first scars beside the current cuts. They would just have to wait and see what this was all about.
"Notify me if there are any changes in Lucas's or Morgan's conditions," she ordered the two nurses. "I'll be in my office." She wanted to check the databases and find out why Morgan's previous suicide attempt and Lucas's broken leg weren't on file. She saw Nathan sit down beside Lucas's bed. If she knew him he was going to be there until the boy woke up. With a sigh, she turned back to the computer and started looking for some answers.
Lucas fought the waves of warmth that tried to keep him in the womb-like place he had been in. He had been playing with Darwin. Swimming in a sea that cradled and comforted him. But, something imperative nudged at him that he had to take care of before he could go back and rest. Lucas slowly came to as he fought the anesthetic. Everything hurt. When he opened his eyes the first person he saw was Bridger, who looked tired and haunted.
As if sensing Lucas was awake the captain focused on him and called out, "Doctor, he's awake. You said he would be under for several more hours."
Westphalen came out of her office and joined Bridger beside the bed.
Summoning up all the energy he could muster Lucas slowly got out, "Where's Morgan?"
With a reassuring hand on the shoulder that hadn't been dislocated Bridger said, "You don't have to be afraid anymore. You're home and you're safe with us."
At that Lucas struggled to sit up. Concerned Nathan tried to gently hold Lucas down as Kristin ordered Lucas, "Stay still or you could pull your stitches out. You shouldn't even be awake yet."
"You don't understand," Lucas got out when he got his breath back.
"We understand everything because O'Neill found tapes," Nathan replied. "There were video cameras in the cells. We have Ensign Morgan on tape torturing you for the security codes to seaQuest."
"What was on them?" asked Lucas, worried they had the wrong idea about what had happened over the three days that he and Morgan had spent trapped by that madman.
"We saw the Ensign strike a deal to torture you for the codes, beat you repeatedly, and when that didn't work she was going to tell you we were in danger to force you to do what you could to protect us." Bridger held back the most damning evidence- that he had walked in on her trying to suffocate Lucas.
Focusing on what was missing from the captain's summary, Lucas asked, "Where were the cameras placed? I never saw it. Was it one full record or bits and pieces spliced together?"
Not knowing how this would change the facts, Bridger answered, "It was above the door. And yes, it was spliced together like a highlight tape through hell."
Gathering his strength Lucas said, "Captain, Morgan and I talked about what was happening the first day. They interrogated us for the security codes. After the first session, Morgan offered herself in my place. They knew she would do anything to keep me alive. When they left us alone for a minute, we planned how we would get through it. We decided we wouldn't betray seaQuest in any way. If either of us could arrange computer access under any pretense we would take it so I could let you know where we were."
The retelling was taking a toll on Lucas and he had to catch his breath. He lay back in exhaustion. Sweat covered his whole body.
Nathan wiped Lucas's brow with a damp cloth. Settling back against the pillows with a barely suppressed grunt of pain, Lucas continued, "When they came back, they said that Morgan had to interrogate me for the codes. We didn't know why they did that. It was terrible sir. You couldn't see her face if the camera was behind her. When she refused to touch me, they forced us to play a game of Russian Roulette. Morgan had to hold a gun on me and pull the trigger. If she didn't, they were standing beside me waiting to pull their triggers. They had full ammunition in their guns and Morgan only had one bullet. She had no choice sir," Lucas begged the captain to forgive her. "I'll never forget the look in Morgan's eyes when she had to pull that trigger."
Lucas returned to the moment that Morgan had held the gun to his forehead and could smell the gun oil again.
[Flashback]
Both of them had been relieved that the hammer had come down on an empty chamber. When the guards had left them alone again, he had turned to her and whispered, "I forgive you." Morgan collapsed into his arms and said, "I'd rather die than hurt you, Lucas." Holding her shivering body tightly to his he continued, "There's nothing you could do to me that I couldn't forgive. Besides with all the training you took during basic and Crocker's classes, you don't have to really hurt me just make it look bad. Captain Bridger will be here soon to rescue us," he finished with hope in his voice.
[Present]
"But the bruises, they're terrible. She must have hurt you," demanded Nathan in a strained voice wanting to hear that Kristin had been wrong and Morgan had really hurt him.
"Every punch and slap was pulled. She caused them for maximum effect with as little real damage as possible." "I should know," Lucas added in an undertone.
Wiping Lucas's forehead again, Nathan shared a look at Kristin because they had heard the remark. The gossip about the Wolenczak's had hinted at this but nothing official was in any database.
When Lucas had boarded, both had looked for any information to confirm their suspicions. Finding nothing official, they had tried to get answers from Lucas. He had closed off and wouldn't talk to them about it. Then he had seemed to be settling in, so they had agreed to back off and let him come to them when he felt more secure and comfortable about the situation. He had Darwin to talk to and Nathan had seen him with Ensign Morgan in the mess hall.
They had looked like they were getting close. She was pretty, in a girl next door way, but very quiet and she was never seen alone. She was always with Lucas, Darwin, or some tech down in engineering. Nathan had even considered having a talk with the ensign, because Lucas was underage but hadn't gotten to it by the time they had disappeared.
"I could feel the difference between the guards interrogation of me and Morgan's. Captain, I've looked into the eyes of a monster that gets off on abusing others and Morgan would rather die than become one."
Lucas didn't know how prophetic his words were and didn't see Nathan shoot Kristin a glance. With a shake of her head Kristin said, "I thought there was a strange quality to the bruises but I was more worried about the internal injuries. We worked on you for several hours and we still need to schedule you for a couple of orthopedic surgeries to fix your knees.
"She was trying to convince them to give me computer access so I could contact you. They must have become suspicious because the last time they escorted Morgan into the cell, they did the interrogating. We held out for as long as we could. We knew you would rescue us and you did." Exhausted, Lucas closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again.
Nathan saw the absolute trust shining up at him from Lucas's face and wondered what he could have done to win such loyalty. He had failed to understand the situation and was worried that Lucas would turn from him when he found out what had happened to Ensign Morgan.
"Captain you didn't answer me before. Where's Morgan?" exhaustion laced Lucas's voice but he wasn't going to let it claim him until he found out where Morgan was. The last time he had gotten this hurt, Morgan had promised to be by his bedside when he woke up. He could only imagine that after he became unconscious, the guards had started in on Morgan.
"Please tell me she's not hurt," Lucas got out with horror in his voice. Lucas knew that after all she had been through, imagining Morgan being tortured made his stomach churn. He had been glad that they had not beat her after the first day.
"In a minute. Let Kristin check to make sure you're all right and haven't pulled out your stitches."
Nathan walked over to the opposite side of the Med. Bay. He looked up at Kristin a little while later. She nodded after checking Lucas over. She then raised the head of the bed a little so Lucas could look around a little.
"Captain, now will you tell me where Morgan is?"
Nathan knocked on the glass and the curtains were opened on the other side of the isolation chambers window. Lucas saw a security guard and dug into his memory for the name- Murphy. That was his name. *What's Murphy doing in isolation?* But that thought fled as he focused on the other occupant of isolation. It was Morgan and she was asleep. Scanning quickly to see if there were any injuries his eyes stopped on her wrists.
"Why is she in restraints?" betrayal was in Lucas's voice. "Let her out right now!"
Regretfully Nathan glanced at Lucas and tried to soften the blow but it came out bluntly, "When we rescued you, Morgan was suffocating you. There could be no mistake about what we walked in on. O'Neill found the tapes of her torturing you. We had no way of knowing there was any other explanation."
"Captain, no," Lucas said, a hurt look in his eyes. "She saved my life. I've told you that she didn't have any choice in doing what she did. There has to be some explanation. Even if you thought she would harm me, Murphy could hold her down with one hand." In fact Murphy was built like one of their guards and Lucas worried that if Morgan woke up he would scare her. "Take the restraints off!"
"I know that now, but we can't take them off." Swallowing against the guilt that had risen in him as Lucas had relayed what Morgan had gone through to save him, the Captain continued, "Per Naval regulations, any personnel attempting suicide must be restrained until a full psychiatric evaluation can be done." Trying to soften the blow as he could see the shock in Lucas's face, "After seeing what I saw at the facility I ordered a debriefing in the ward room after I had cooled off enough not to lose control. When she didn't show I ordered a search. While I waited for her to be found Commander Ford and Lt. O'Neill showed me the tapes and I was ready to strangle her myself for what she had done to you. The search didn't find her, so I was going to get something out of your room for when you woke up." Nathan didn't elaborate, knowing Lucas didn't want Kristin to know about the stuffed bear he kept in his quarters.
"I opened the door and found her lying on your bed. She had cut her wrists and had lost a lot of blood. We barely got her to Med. Bay in time."
"Then why isn't she awake?" Looking over at Kristin, Lucas got a tight feeling in his heart. No, not again. Maybe it was something else. Maybe he had enough time to get her back if it was what he suspected.
"She hasn't woken up on her own and I can't figure out why," Kristin replied, frustration in her voice. She sounded as if Morgan should wake up just because Kristin willed it so. "It's been 16 hours and she's exhibiting signs of a coma but there is no medical reason for her to be in one. They brought her in as we were operating on you. The nurse sutured her arms and transfused blood to replace what was lost. But, she hasn't responded at all to any of my attempts to wake her."
"Have you given her any drugs?" Lucas asked with panic in his tone.
"No, why do you ask?"
But Lucas just shrugged Kristin's question off in his sudden excitement that he wasn't too late.
"Captain, you have to get her out of there and take off the restraints. I might be able to reach her if she hasn't gone too deep this time."
*This time!?* I'm going to have to review the personnel logs more closely, thought Bridger. Bridger looked at Kristin. It was her call as chief medical officer to decide if this could be done. Seeing the excitement this had generated in Lucas, she motioned to Murphy to take the restraints off and unlock the door. Kristin and Murphy wheeled Morgan's gurney over to Lucas's bed because he could not be moved to her with all the machines hooked up to him.
Lucas reached out with his good arm, careful not to jar the IV tubing, and gently stroked a lock of brown hair off of her face and behind her ear. "You have to come back. Please, I need you. Don't do this to me again. Don't leave me alone."
At that, Nathan and Kristin exchanged glances. The tone in Lucas's voice shocked them. Nathan realized that maybe he had left the talk with Morgan to late. The love in the boy's voice made them realize that Lucas needed some time alone with Morgan.
Kristin made a mental note to check Morgan's file to find out what Lucas meant by 'again'. Looking over Morgan's vital signs, Kristin realized that they were so low that nothing would wake her up for at least another eight hours. She tapped Nathan's shoulder and motioned that they should go into her office.
"Murphy stand guard by the door and give them some privacy but don't let either of them out of your sight this time," ordered the captain as he followed the doctor.
As Nathan and Kristin talked in her office about checking the personnel and medical files on Lucas and Morgan, they could hear Lucas talking very softly through the open door.
"Nathan," Kristen said, "get some sleep. We both need it and they're not going anywhere soon."
Nathan frowned at her, "I knew when I found her on Lucas's bed that she couldn't be the monster I thought she was, but I never thought that they had gotten this close."
"Nathan, worry about it tomorrow."
With that said they left Kristin's office, saw that Lucas was now asleep and turned down the lights and left Murphy to watch over them.